I, Spider.

I could fight it no longer. The light had penetrated through my eyelidic defenses, and there was no use in trying to hold on to the sleep that was retreating so quickly. I rolled over on to my back. The creaking of the mattress destroyed the numb silence of the hotel room. I felt the ache in my lower back that only seems to show up after spending a few too many hours in the sack. A glance at the bright red L.E.D display of the alarm clock advised me it was ten past eleven in the A.M.
I let loose a might yawn and stretch combo that ended with my fingers locked behind my head. I was staring directly above me at the dull white ceiling, when I noticed a spider about the size of a nickel.
" Hello Mr. Spider!" I greeted him. The spider of course, said nothing. The lack of communication skills on the spiders’ end did not deter me from further dialogue. " Here we are, on a Wednesday morning, nowhere to go and nothing to do. We are masters of our own destiny. Aren’t we?" The spider was busy indulging in spider business on my hotel room ceiling and if he did hear me he wasn’t letting on that he did. " Yep," I continued, " You and I are not so different. Mr. Spider, I think we both need the same basic things in our lives. Independence, freedom, solitude, all these things we demand! We don’t ask for them. Perfectly comfortable just hanging out and taking it all in. We don’t work often, but when we do we work well. Brilliant in our way."
At that the spider did stop what he was doing and seemed to be staring back at me, as if appreciating the accolade I had just offered him. We, neither one of us, moved as we stared each other down. I never really took the time to appreciate the spider. They are a truly magnificent creature. I can think of no other animal so horrifying in their predatory style. Sure, all predators would seem brutal and cruel in the eyes of their prey. But, none are quite so dominant and tortuous as the spider.
They trap an insect within their web. That alone is to terrible to contemplate. Imagine you are a happy-go-lucky house fly, buzzing along looking for a tantalizing pile of dogshit to feast on when "bang" you didn’t even see it coming and now your trapped. The more you struggle the more you are ensnared in the hateful silken restraints. All the while this is happening to you, the spider watches from his perch. When you are exhausted from your struggle the spider moves in and grabs you with his powerful legs. The spider bites in to you with razor sharp teeth, full of venom meant to paralyze, not kill. Now that you are incapable of moving, you are still acutely aware of what is happening to you as you are wrapped in silk to be placed aside and be eaten at the spider’s leisure.
I can not think of a more awe inspiring and fearsome predator. Even man, who is at the absolute top of the food chain, is terrified of these little eight-legged enigma, not unlike the one perched above me now. No bigger than a quarter in most cases, but it has the ability to freeze the blood of most people on first site. Arachnophobia is the most common fear among the modern North American population. That is even above fear of heights. Heights can and will kill you, a spider can not. While logically this makes no sense, there is no room for logic when you hear the startled scream escape your throat as a spider runs across your floor, and your barefoot. These are fearsome, terrifying killers that deserve our respect and fear.
" Still." I say aloud. " You are a skilled architect and artist, creating magnificent homes of silk design, catching beads of morning dew, prisms of reflecting sunlight glimmering in the trees." I smiled up at the little killer on my ceiling. " You also take care of quite a few pests for the rest of us, don’t you?" Still there was no response from the spider, but of course, he didn’t have to. He knew. He was personally responsible for the removal of countless mosquitoes, flies, gnats and all other unfortunate pestilence that happened in to his web. I could see it in the glossy reflection of his many eyes. He knew he was the shit.
" Yes, let me be the first to thank you, Mr. Spider, for ridding this vicinity of those horrible buzzing, biting, burrowing, larvae laying filth. It is much appreciated."
I sat up and swung my legs around the side of the bed and my feet in to the pair of sandals that awaited them. I engaged in another solid, stretch and yawn combo just to clear up the last of the fog. I felt the fist pang of hunger arrive deep in the pit of my stomach, leading me to consider a large sirloin steak down at the hotel restaurant. Absently, I picked up yesterday’s newspaper on the bedside table. I rolled it up nice and tight and drove it upwards, killing the spider instantly and painting a circle of mire on the ceiling. I dropped the newspaper in to the garbage and pulled my housecoat on. As I was walking in to the bathroom a cold shiver ran down my spine.
" I fucking hate spiders." I said aloud, and this time, I was the only one listening.